There was this iconic moment when I when I was 25. I had my rent money stolen, my airbed mattress was popped, and my job was barely helping me scrape by. I hit my low. I sat on the curb downtown on 4th St and wailed to God. To my bestie. I had just got my first payday loan and I was single. Why Lord hath thou forsaken me!? This is part of what happened when the effects of poverty hit me. HARD.
So I Got a Payday Loan
It's like the minorities white savior conveniently located on each block to save you from whatever financial hole you have found yourself in. There will always be a high interest rate and in reality this loan cost more than it's worth. Thank God for my auntie not auntie who helped me out of this one. Cause there was no way I would've paid it off. I was instructed to NEVER do that again. Dutifully noted.
Mail is Important
I've talked about my experience of ignoring bills and letting them turn pretty colors. I know it's silly now, but back then I hoped to open mail and the bill magically disappeared or was somehow paid off. Knowing what you owe is liberating. Especially when deciding if you need that new shirt or if you can put it aside. (Note: I always go for the new shirt. God is working on me.
Evicted by Matthew Desmond
This book right here spoke to most of my life. It was actually uncomfortable to read because I felt they had written my life on the pages. There was a whole part on how most people who live check to check typically spend all of their check on random items like steak, new shoes, or something just to help them feel not poor. I highly recommend this book.
Credit Cards Are Good
When used wisely. Instead of buying a round trip ticket out of country and back. (Mostly because I couldn't my credit limit was super restricted and I had to pay initially) My credit score was so low... Seriously. I had to secure walk my way to better credit. Credit cards can be your friend. I usually just pay it and then use the money for bills that I would've spent the money on anyway. It's a nice cycle. And it helps that I don't let my money just sit in the account. My credit score has gone up a whole 200 almost 300 points.
Overall, I've had to crawl my way from that low moment where I felt the weight of my poverty. Where the kindness of others is the only way I survived. There have been a great many that aren't even related to me by blood that have extended a hand, given encouraging words, or were just there to check in on me. The stability I feel today is because those people have been in my life. Thank you. I am a stronger woman because of it.
My mother told me a woman should have a shoe for every occasion and in high school I took this to heart. Everyday I would pick out a pair of heels to wear with my flared bottoms and uniform shirt. I did this basically everyday for four years. I wore heels all throughout my time in London during college. And then something happened. I stopped wearing heels. It turned into I would only wear heels for special occasions and then it became me only wearing heels for plays or shows. Now...
I can't stand them. Literally. I just don't feel like wearing oppression on my feet. Maybe It'll comeback like my affection for the color pink. (I seriously doubt it) I still like a good high heel boot or boot wedge. It's just interesting that I thought heels were what a woman SHOULD wear to be beautiful. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE heels. At least I love the way they look. But you will not catch me out here in pain for anybody if it's not comfortable I'm not doing it. You are not required to please others with what you wear. Wear what you want and rock it. As long as it meets up with your own standards, be bold. Be comfortable. Be you.
*If you follow my post every other Thursday this one is a lil late to post, but it's here.
Jump Rope Sis
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