New year, who dis?
It's the purge of all those toxic people, places, and things that have been unwittingly plaguing your life. Now the new year for me officially starts on my birthday which was a couple of weeks ago, but it's always healthy to do a purge.
What I do when facing this daunting plague is picture the life I want a week, a month, and a year from this moment. Do the top 5 people I associate with it make it to this next phase? What about my top 10? Do my associates even deserve my time and energy? Life is a constant evaluation of what is necessary. Cause the truth is we all know there are people that are vampires for your time even if it is unknowingly on their part. You may need to purge from your job (one of them) or from a place you spend a lot of your time.
My last purge was in November I decided that it was time to cut ties with some distractions that were holding me back. It was in three different areas. I let go of a few relationships, a job, and a group that were all going in the opposite direction of where I wanted to be. I was tired of being in the same place all the time there was nothing and really no one I associated with that was pushing me to do better in my life. I got comfortable with a stable life that was just bobbing above surviving and called it living, but I wasn't. I was still drowning. I was still in the same place while walking forward.
How to Recognize It's NOT for you
Ain't nothing to cut that *hums* off. Isn't true. It's hard to let go of what's familiar and try something new. But it is necessary, It's not my goal in this blog to tell ya'll what to do. I just want to share my experiences so that maybe you won't feel so alone in this crazy world.
And you know what? Once I let go of those things that fit all of those bullet points. I found things that did help me to grow. That without I'd be off track. That my future most certainly includes. The new job, being single, and not going to my old favorite stomping ground are definitely teaching me as much as I'm impacting them.
Purge away and may a healthier lifestyle ever be in your favor.
So it is Thursday as promised here is the blog.
“You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” -Everybody and their momma, aunty too
You think you know what your plans are, give it a year then you’ll see. As a twenty something I’m learning that plans can drastically change. I’m seriously praying that this is a young thing and that when I’m in my thirties (which aren’t too far off) I get some serious chill to my life. Since I am 26 now, going on 27 soon… *shudders* I have a few things I’ve figured out to be true.
Even the most calculated, well thought out, all I’s dotted plan could be thrown for a loop without any warning AND that’s okay. Sure, I can fill out a goal list. I can even go as far as blot out trips and events in my calendar, but inevitably things could go awry. If you are like me single, no kids, and no real ties it may be awhile before you have any solid plans. When I’ve been somewhere for a year I pat myself on the back. Now granted this could vary depending on where you are in life. You may have a solid career with a house and all the right fixings, but as a young twenty something I haven’t figured it all yet.
Reality Is You Can’t Do It All, Yet
I know you want to do it all. You’re having your quarter life crisis and want to travel to 30 countries before you’re 30 without a trust fund, with a part-time (possibly full-time job), and no business plan. How sway? When did you even start? When you were 25? I have been queen of wanting to do it all, but no said plan of HOW I was going to do it. I’m not saying you should have every t crossed, but I mean have some idea of what you want out of life. Looking at others will sometimes just cloud your own reality. The people you THINK have it all figured out have learned from their mistakes, but best believe they have some sort of plan. If you wanna travel like that plan to be a travel blogger, to work in home stays, or even get a job abroad. There are options, but regardless there is WORK. We can’t avoid it, yet. One day you’ll have a way where you can live this fantastic life without working just remember ya girl mkay?
You Deserve Applause
No awards are handed out for adulting well. Unfortunate, but extremely true. I want you to know that you deserve some freaking applause. For whatever you’ve managed to do. You paid your bills (at least one) this month. You went to work. You turned down that credit card. You bought gas instead of concert tickets. You took yourself out. You bought a new shirt. You got that game you’ve been wanting. Whatever it is I’m going to take the time to applaud you for it. *stands and claps* Pat yourself on the back. We should learn to celebrate in the little things. You got out of bed this morning. You fed yourself today. You did something. That’s awesome!
These are the three truths I’ve learned this past year. What inspired me to write this is me going back through my blog and looking at last year’s vision. A LOT has changed since then. I’m not in the Peace Corps. I haven’t left the country. I got the fellowship though, well one of them. I did have an apartment for a year. I worked on having healthier relationships with those around me. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. And for me this year isn’t over yet. I have some pretty serious goals these next three months. (I probably wrote this waaay before it reached your eyes) If I accomplish these short term goals I’m going to write a “I did it! Finally…” post.
Yep this is my Quarter Life Crisis
I'm three months from my 26th birthday (yikes). There's a mix of thank God that I, a black girl from the country/hood, has made it to see 25 so far and f*** I'm tired. Yea, this year has been all about ups and down. Actually let's just say my past three years have been a roller coaster in HD.
Wait, what is a quarter life crisis you ask? Oh well it's where life as you know it becomes a balance beam of adulting. Do you quit the job, grab a one-way ticket to anywhere in the world, and forget it all? Or do you hunker down and settle into a life regime that is suiting for an adult? I chose something between the two.
At 24 I "quit" my well paying cubicle job and went rouge. Which led to me getting evicted from my first apartment, breaking off a toxic/abusive relationship, and being homeless. Getting fired is the best thing I've ever done, not smart, but great. (Aside from the other great things) While couch surfing for a bit, sleeping on the streets of St. Louis, and going to homeless shelters I found a fulfilling job that I could do even though my degree said I was over qualified. Shoot at that point I would've just taken a paycheck short of working in a cubicle or stripping (not knocking it, it's just not my thing). What job did I find? Teacher's Aide/Assistant. Yep that meant lesson planning and having fun with kids all day, that beats a cubicle or pole any day. I also found that instead of having one boring, unfulfilling job you can have multiple fun jobs that all pay you for that set of skills. PLUS that passion that's lingering in your bag, that you never had time to work on, can now be fine tuned and put to good use.
Which leads me to 25. 25 is the age I was determined to turn it all around. I started off great. I had my first one-night stand. (okay so not so great) I self-published a collection of plays & poetry. (Better.) I started this website. (Much better.) I got into a great activist CO-OP (complete strangers living together what could go wrong?) I got my first official boyfriend. (He was great and short lived. 2 months) I kept my one woman show alive and started a tour. How to start a tour or not start one should be a blog. (Note to self ) I rotate jobs like a old rotary phone. It's been brilliant and stressful and brilliant again. So then I get this idea to just stop everything to travel and write. Not new for those in a quarter life crisis.
That brings me back to how my life is right now. I'm prepping to travel to Iowa with my One woman show: The Family Cookbook to my alma mater, Buena Vista University. I'll be going to a gender studies class to talk, performing my show, doing a talk back, and having a great time. Not to mention I get to see my college best friend and her new hubby (he's also my college best friend ha!) I married her first, more on that in it's own blog post. Anywho. I'm excited. A new job came up. A new apartment that will be my own space is in talks. Boss is giving me a laptop. God is funny. I literally thought three weeks ago I was going to have to move back to TN with my tail between my legs, but now I can wait out for the Peace Corps here in STL or this fellowship. If the Peace Corps doesn't happen in 2017-2018 A LOT of traveling will. If this is my quarter life crisis, I'm sooo not mad about it. Life is all about taking risk and going for it. "Just do it." is the best advice I can give you if you're in a quarter life crisis or anywhere feeling stuck in life. And if you don't know what to do. Don't panic. Get in a quiet space with yourself. It might not make sense for awhile, but that's okay. I'm right here with you. My problems just look different, but they do exist.
My story is just beginning. And dare I say this blog is getting better?
Jump Rope Sis
Fitness. Life. Art. Travel.