We all have procrastinated. Some of us have made it an art form that is hard to duplicate. I used to be queen of working in a storm. I didn't understand how one could get work done when they were at peace and not feeling the heat of a deadline. Now? I am honest with myself about my deadlines and how they have to be reached. I can't afford for the delay.
Not just money wise. I'm talking time. My time is valuable even to myself. I can't waste it with I shoulda, coulda, or woulda... If I know I can't commit the energy ahead of time I know to say no or walk away. I sign up for only what I can actually follow through with. Even if that means stepping back from things I love. Recently, I've learned that the art of service is committing to that service. We have to know our limits. People will ask you for everything you have and if you don't have the capacity to give "No" has to become your ally.
However, I'm not even talking about service or people. I'm talking about self. We hold ourselves to crazy standards and then are upset when we don't achieve the goal. I went from "I want to lose 100 pounds this year" to "I want to be healthy for life." Then I dug deeper. I went from, "I want to lose..." to "I want my knee to not hurt", "I want to be able to lift myself", "I want to not have my airplane seat belt stretch to the last bit". Also I had to be realistic with myself. I don't have time for two a days. I don't want to go hard everyday in workout. What I can do is at least walk everyday for 30 mins. I can always still hit the gym or go harder, but 30 mins of walking is my minimum.
It worked. Being realistic about my goals made it so all of my goals were not only achieved, but exceeded. It also requires me to have a clear goal with a plan to achieve it. If you've followed along with my journey on Instagram or Snapchat then you've seen most of my fight as far as health. Now my video is a whole other version of this vlog. In case you're a video person and not down with the words. You may have even clicked that first. If you do both, bless your heart.
I'm happy to be in a place where I'm getting it done. I'm not even sharing my ambitions and dreams where they aren't able to grow. I learned that I can't share my vision with everyone, not even because people don't support me. It's because some things aren't meant to be voiced out loud until the right time. However, those I do share with are able to see, support, or push me forward. I stopped expecting the unrealistic polish on life. I like reality. I love being honest with myself about what I need and want. Productivity has become a companion that I honor without the procrastination.
Ya girl has been working! Not just at work, but on myself and it has gotten real serious. I'm talking waking up early, getting 8 hours of sleep, and intentionally moving everyday type serious. I knew a few months back that this transition was going to require... My word of the year: FOCUS.
That meant stepping back from my blog. Stepping into some vlogs because that makes sense. I also took a step back from social media. Not a break break, but it wasn't inhaled like crack rocks. If anyone I work with sees this, I mean candy okay.
I've still been doing poetry tings (yes, tings) even if I haven't been to a open mic or show in a very very, very long time. Sometimes a person just needs a breather. *inhales, exhales* We overwhelm ourselves with the need to always be moving, doing, and sharing. I think there's something beautiful about sharing, but there is also something beautiful about sitting that tail down and meditating in prayer.
Long overdue, but here is a glimpse of me working as a poet in a unconventional way. I get booked to talk to classes via Skype or Google Hangouts talking to college kids and high schoolers as well. It is a blessing to find new ways to connect with people in this digital world.
If you've been following along. Thank you! Let me know what you think.
Fitness. Life. Art. Travel.